~ Susan Says:  When you have a rough day caring for your loved one with cancer, or think you maybe could have handled something differently, don’t be discouraged.  You are going through a new experience.  It isn’t always clear what to do.  Don’t be hard on yourself. 

No one is perfect.  Take a cleansing breath and move on and try again.  Your loved one will probably understand.  If he or she doesn’t seem to understand, simply explain how you feel and that this is new for you.  More than likely, your loved one will understand. 

The important thing, as Vince Lombardi said, is to get back up and move on.  You have bigger things to be concerned about, right?  If you are feeling bad, remember, you are learning from this experience.  And learning is a good thing!

The date of Mom’s Birthday is easy because it originally was on Memorial Day.  In 1971 the official designated date to celebrate Memorial Day was changed to the last Monday in May.  For the US, Memorial Day is a time to remember or “Memorialize” those who gave the ultimate sacrifice–their life–while protecting and preserving our country and the freedom we enjoy.  It is a debt Americans cannot repay to those we honor, but a respect that we humbly give to those who so generously gave their all. 

It seemed only fitting that my Mom’s Birthday was around Memorial Day.   My Mother loved her country.  Her patriotism showed as she burst with pride when speaking of the service given in the Navy by her Father, Brothers and Sons.  She also had a Brother and Son-in-law serve in the Air Force.  Her Husband had served in the Army.  She loved a man in uniform.  Had she lived longer, I know she would have been so proud to see her Grandaughter, as an adult, serving in the Army.   

My Mom passed away many years ago from cancer.  She left a big hole in the fabric of our family.  Yes, it has been many years.  And yet, each year as Memorial Day approaches, I remember her birthday.  In my heart, I want to send her a card, buy her a gift, and decorate a birthday cake for her.   I want her to see the life my husband and I made together.  I want her to see the lives my siblings have made with their families.  I want her to see what fine adults her grandchildren have grown to be and the wise choices they made in spouses.  I want her to see the precious great-grandchildren she never got to see. 

It is a bittersweet time to remember my Mom’s birthday.  Yes, it has been many years since my siblings and I lost our Mother to cancer, but she is still close.  She is in the words we speak, the traditions we keep, the values we adhere to.  I see her in the faces of my siblings.  Once in a while, in amazement, I catch a glimpse of her in the mirror looking back at me.  She is in my heart, which is forever changed from watching her gallant fight for her life with bravery and dignity.  She may have never served in the military, but she made many sacrifices for her family.  And so, this Memorial Weekend, Happy Birthday Mom.  Thanks for all you gave to your family.   We miss you still, but we find great comfort and peace in our awareness that you remain in our hearts forever.

Thanks, also to the service men and women who selflessly gave the ultimate sacrifice–their lives–so that others could live an even better life.  With our hand on our heart, we are humbled to silence as the guns fire and the flag waves on. 

Nurses have a great variety of work experience.  Some are educators, some are Nurse Practioners, some are Research Nurses, while many prefer the one-on-one contact of being a Staff Nurse.  They work grueling hours, weekends, and holidays.  They work during Family Reunions and on family members birthdays.

Few give more physically and emotionally on the job than Nurses.  They are there with our loved ones (and sometimes with us) when we go through some of our biggest challenges in our lives.  They comfort us.  They comfort our loved ones.  They do disgusting tasks most people would scoff at.  Their duties have expanded to include large amounts of paperwork or computer record-keeping.  They monitor medications and often play go-between with the Doctors.  Some of them have to learn how to operate and interpret readings from high-tech equipment.  

Some Nurses work long shifts.  Some work double shifts when their co-workers call in sick.  Their work is high stress, and yet they love it.  Why?  Because they care.  They care that your loved one has quality care.  They care that they can get along with many different personalities and calm emotionally distressed patients and their families.   They are compassionate and committed. 

If they see something that appears questionable or erroneous on the Doctor’s orders, they may further investigate that information to ensure a patient’s safety.  They are looking out for your loved one with cancer and pleading their case to the Doctor more times you will ever know. 

Nurses have a compassion that knows no bounds.  Some of them may even give us the impression their job is easy because they care so naturally and so deeply.  They bond with patients and think of them when they are off-duty.  They care for the patients families.  Their kindness and compassion make this world a better place. 

Our congratulations to all Nurses across the globe.  Thank you for ALL you do for us and for our loved ones!  We truly appreciate you and your service to others. 

Want to see how we are celebrating Nurse’s Week? 

http://bit.ly/5rNRgg (The Big Shift:  Embracing the Cancer Caregiver Mindset WITH CAMP (Caring Action Mindset Plan)

http://bit.ly/6SlRNH (51 Secrets Every Cancer Caregiver Needs to Know)

The first of May always makes me think of my Mother.  Every year on May Day, she would recall her childhood days.  On May Day, their neighborhood would leave May Baskets on doorsteps for each other, then ring the doorbell and hide.  It was a fond memory.  Although we never did May Baskets, I always looked forward to hearing her tell the story every spring. 

Although the celebration of May Day may have fallen by the wayside, there is much to celebrate as we enter the month of May.  We see the grass greening up nicely while tree buds swell and burst open with new leaves.  The newly opened leaves boast a color unique to this time of year.  They are a pretty yellow-green in hue.  As the leaves get larger, their color darkens to the deeper green foliage we are used to seeing most of the summer. 

Simultaneously, there is a dramatic increase in many other aspects of the great outdoors.  Many of the summer birds are starting to return.  The traffic at the bird feeders picks up significantly and the birds work tirelessly to build and repair nests in anticipation of their soon-to-be families.  Neighbors start to appear in their yards and talk over the fence.  Stores are busier as we shop for outdoor supplies.  Will we need a new lawnmower this year?  Do we need to replace any of our flower planters this summer?  Do the hoses have any leaks?  When is that fertilizer going to be on sale? 

Although spring is a very busy time of year, it is a welcome change from the long winter.  It is also a good opportunity to have some positive things to look forward to, to take our minds briefly away from everyday stressors.  As a caregiver to a loved one with cancer, you sometimes need a distraction.  As you are able to, go outside and do a little yard work.  Take a walk and take in the special beauty of this time of renewal for Mother Nature. 

Some of us have special little rituals we carry on each spring.  It may be a trip to the zoo, or a long drive to a special shop with garden goodies.  Whatever it may be, if you and your loved one are up to it, try to keep up as many traditions as you can.  There are things you and your loved one look forward to each year.  It’s important to have those things to look forward to, if possible. 

As Mother Nature renews the land, it is good for you and your loved one to be reminded that you, also, can be renewed.  You can be renewed by participating in Nature.  You can be renewed by what you choose to do with you time.  You can be renewed by your mindset.  What will you choose today?

If you are a caregiver to a loved one with cancer, you know how devastating this disease can be.  As you care for your loved one, you will want to remember to take care of yourself, as well.  This means eating right, exercising, getting enough rest and in general, trying to stay healthy.  It also means you should get your annual physical exam at the Doctor’s office.  In between those annual exams, you still will want to stay alert to any signals that your body may have something going on which needs investigating.   

Do you know the seven warning signs of cancer?  If you experience any of these, you should get checked out by your Doctor:

1. Any unusual bleeding
2. A lump or thickening in the breast or any place
3. A sore that doesn’t seem to heal
4. Changes in bowel or bladder habits
5. Persistent cough or hoarseness
6. Problems swallowing or chronic indigestion
7. Change in size or color of a wart or mole

Don’t ignore any of the symptoms.  It may not be cancer, but you need to know for sure.  As a Cancer Caregiver, you must value your own health and not take it for granted.  You’ll be glad you did!

“To succeed…you need to find something to hold onto, something to motivate you, something to inspire you. ” ~ Tony Dorsett

Susan’s Thoughts

Something to hold onto:  Hope!  Hope for better days ahead.  Hope for a closer relationship with your loved one.  Hope for relief for your loved one’s fears and anxieties about the cancer.  Hope for your loved one with cancer to have a good response to treatment.

Something to motivate you:  You will help set the tone for your loved one’s mindset.  You need to take care of yourself so you will be there to care for them.  You can’t control your loved one’s disease, but you can control your reaction to it.

Something to inspire you:  You are a special person!  You are giving a precious gift to your loved one with cancer.  You will become a better person for the experience.  You will grow in stature and in strength.  You do not have to be alone in this journey.  The Sanctuary For Cancer Caregivers cares for you and your loved one.  You really are a special person!

• Answers all your loved one’s tough questions
• Answers all your tough questions
• Determines the course of treatment
• Determines the prognosis
• Heads up your loved one’s medical team
• Takes the brunt of strong emotions from cancer patients and their families

So, what are we doing at the Sanctuary to celebrate and honor Doctors on their special day?  We are running a sale from 30 Mar 2010 - 3 April 2010 on the following:

51 Secrets Every Cancer Caregiver Needs to Know Now - Regularly $12.95, NOW $9.95

Embracing the Cancer Caregiver Mindset (with the Caring Action Mindset Plan) - Regularly $19.95, NOW $14.95 

You’d better grab them quickly.  They won’t last long at these prices.  Get your copies now while you give tribute to Doctors everywhere.  Click either of the links above to learn more.

I just returned from a one-hour session on using meditation as a coping mechanism.  Meditation is a very peaceful, relaxing way to gift yourself with relaxation and a release from the large and small stressors of everyday life. 

There are various forms of meditation, but the end goal seems quite consistent.  That goal involves allowing oneself to relax, manage stress, help restore balance to one’s life and hopefully, in doing so, improve one’s quality of life.  There is a lot to learn about this highly desirable life-style. 

Practicing meditation requires discipline to establish a daily time for practicing this age-old practice.  Determining a correct seating position is a particular challenge before even beginning the session.  Different people have different expectations from one session to the next.  Those practicing meditation can determine what their focus is for the day.  Some need to focus on relaxing and de-stressing.  Others may be simply trying to bring peace and balance to their lives.   For others, meditation is a tool to use along with other medical tools to seek to improve health and chronic conditions.  Expectant mothers often utilize meditation to help prepare for childbirth.  

By the end of tonight’s session, I was very relaxed, and my pain was diminished.  I felt well-rested and less stressed.  I heard many attendees express similar comments. 

Cancer patients and their caregivers could certainly benefit by practicing the art of meditation.  Use this gift to help bring peace to yourself and your loved one today!  We suggest you give it a try. 

The new trend is awareness of the link between infections and cancer.  Vaccines are one consideration to help with the fight.  Care for an interesting read on this topic?  I thought so! 

http://www.worldcancercampaign.org/ 

Learn all you can about this important topic! 

Read “Cancer Caregivers at a Distance: 5 Proactive Tips” at:  http://bit.ly/6yn75p